Plan B is the new Plan A
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
