PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
