so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
