you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
