why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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