I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
