Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
