id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
