Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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