It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Randomize
