She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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