I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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