If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
