I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
