We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
