Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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