so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize