if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
