Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
