great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
