Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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