You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
