you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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