I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
