is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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