I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize