What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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