I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
