erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
