she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
