FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
