Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Let's get the cat blown out
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
