He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
