If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
