she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
