I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
