remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
