it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he shaved USA in his pubs
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
