so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
