I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize