It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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