How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
