I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
