I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
