Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
