Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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