i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
