what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
