I don't think brook has ever known best
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
