Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
