I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
