Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
where are my eyebrows?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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