chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
