I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
