Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
