Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Randomize
