sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
