Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
