Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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