I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
