I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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