Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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