A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
